HeyHey

When you think about the meaning of the word “mother” you think of someone caring, and who will always be there for you no matter what or someone that will love you even if you do something really…really stupid. I don’t think thats true. I get told every day that almost every thing is my fault, I’m the reason for all the problems, and it’s my fault none of them are getting fixed. It’s like She want’s to see me unhappy, almost as though she finds enjoyment in watching me suffer. I don’t think i deserve that, I don’t think anyone does. I know things wouldn’t be like this is My Best friends mother didn’t get killed in an accident, I’d have that “second mom” to go to and know that she’ll be there for me when my real mom isn’t. I just want her back, that guy that decided to get drunk and drive around recklessly should have been the one to die, not someone innocent and as amazing as Gwen, she deserved so much more than that. All she ever wanted was to make everyone happy, and to help as many people as she possibly could. I had a box of her old t-shirts and things she gave me before she died and all of it got thrown away except one shirt that says angel on it. Thanks to my mom that’s the only thing I have left to remember her by. My best friend wont even speak to me anymore because she turned her mothers death into a way of getting attention thinking she could take advantage of her fathers money and of me, because she knew I do anything for her.

I really am sick of everything and just need to go to someone’s house and get away from all this crap.